Probably close to 40 years ago I sat down to a big plate of stewed cabbage and green onions. I made a regular pig of myself. Man was it good!!!!!
Later that night I had some of the most excruciating pain that I've ever experienced... I was just hoping someone would break into the house and put me out of my misery. More than once I contemplated going to the ER. The worst stabbing, gnawing, piercing pain ever!!!!!!!!
Since then I've enjoyed stewed cabbage, I eat it with no trouble what-so-ever. But, green onions...I haven't ate them since that night. I really think they could be another form of a WMD. I've talked to my congressman a couple of times of outlawing them or at least make people go through a gastronomical background check before buying them. Maybe even green-onion eating courses should be offered. People should have to be at least 21 years old before they can purchase these. Probably some type of controlled pain killers should be included with each bundle of onions (thus the age requirement).
Yeah, I don' t eat green onions anymore...maybe it was the quantity I ate, maybe it was a plot by an alien race to test my digestive system out for some reason, I don't know...and I don't care. I don't eat green onions anymore...life's too short.
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